Hi, I’m Matt Gardner.

I always hear, “A Word to the Wise…” followed by some of the usual stuff not to do.. But why do the wise need to hear what you non-wise have to say?

I enjoy speed quilting, bird watching, and four-minute-chess. I am a proud shuffleboard tournament champion. I crush ice with my bear hands.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.